God chose to become one of us so that we can be united with Him – and with each other.
My wife Sonia and I were in the dining room, practicing a duet we planned to sing at church during Advent. As I began the second verse of my part, my voice cracked, I choked up, and I couldn’t go on, even after several minutes.
The song was called Mary and Joseph. It was written by Pam Mark Hall and recorded in the 1970s by contemporary Christian music artist John Fischer on his album Naphtali (where he sings it with the songwriter).
Mary and Joseph
The song imagines the dialogue between Mary and Joseph, first after Mary has been visited by the angel telling her she is to bear the child of God but before Joseph has heard anything, and then after the angel appears to Joseph.
In the song, Mary begins by saying, “Joseph, my beloved, come walk with me awhile; I have something to share with you this evening”; and then she repeats to Joseph what the angel said to her.
Joseph is taken aback and asks a number of questions that boil down to, “How can I be sure you are not lying?” That was my first verse.
In my second verse, after the angel has appeared to Joseph, Joseph comes back to Mary and begins with: “Mary, my beloved, come walk with me awhile; I have something to share with you this morning.”
That’s when I choked up. If I had been able to continue, that is where I would have related what the angel said to Joseph.
Choked up about being united
There was so much packed into that verse that stopped me.
First, on its face, it tells about an incredible moment. Joseph had been ready to divorce Mary, who was betrothed to him but had not yet lived with him. Now, Joseph is choosing to unite himself with God’s plan and accept God’s goal as his mission. I am always thrilled by those mysterious moments when someone decides to cooperate with God and become a partner in His work.
Second, the songwriter, Pam Mark Hall, had a brilliant inspiration in having Joseph approach Mary using exactly the same words with which she approached him: calling her “my beloved" and asking her to "come walk with me awhile.” It signals his unity with her – his decision to be one with her in this mission.
But there was a third reason why I choked up.
The first time I sang that song with Sonia was more than 40 years ago, before we were married. Since then, we have sung it two or three time in church – Sonia singing and playing the guitar, me just singing (there is no piano in this song).
I have had the privilege of living for 44 years with my best friend, my wife, my partner, my companion, my love. I was overwhelmed by my appreciation that I could sing this contemplative but powerful song with her as a young adult and sing it again with her as an old man (well, not SO old, but old enough to appreciate the decades of unity I have been blessed with, with this woman of God).
As I heard her voice singing Mary’s lines, I also heard in my head the same voice I knew from 40 years earlier. As I heard her intonation catching perfectly Mary’s hesitation as she told Joseph her unlikely yet true story of an angel’s appearance and extraordinary message, I could hear that same sensitiveness, from 40 years earlier, that drew me to her.
Mary was united with God in her acceptance of her role in God’s plan of salvation. Joseph was now united with Mary in his determination to move forward as a part of that plan. And I had been blessed with more than 40 years of being united with the woman who has been God’s greatest gift to me (other than Himself).
Why do we celebrate Christmas? Christmas is God’s declaration of union with us
In the Incarnation, God chose to become one of us (John 1:14; Phil. 2:5-7), uniting His divine person with our human nature. This is the answer to the question: Why do we celebrate Christmas? Jesus took up our life with all its challenges, going even so far as to endure torture and death for our sins (Gal. 1:4; 1 Cor. 15:3). He who was without sin (2 Cor. 5:21; Heb. 4:15) embraced us even in our sinfulness, because He loves us so much (John 3:16).
And He did so with a purpose: so that we could become like Him and bear His image (Rom. 8:29; 1 Cor. 15:40; 2 Cor. 3:18; Col. 3:9-10). God became an eternal member of the human race so that we could become eternal repositories of His divine nature, with His Spirit living in us and us living in union with Him.
But God’s vision goes even further. His grand plan is not satisfied merely with our individual union with Him. He wants to unite all of us with each other (1 Cor. 1:10; Gal. 3:28; Eph. 4:11-13; Phil. 2:2), and to unite us in Him (John 17:20-23).
Being in union with God and others is a choice
God offers us union with Him, but it must be accepted. God does not force Himself on us.
And if we are going to bear God's image and look like Him, we will need to choose to be united in love for each other. Perhaps this is our most difficult challenge: to put our professed union with God into practice by living in union with each other.
Sonia really wanted to do the song, and she believed in me that I could do it, but she did not force me (unity is a choice). I agreed to go forward, with some uncertainty and prayer. I practiced the song “Mary and Joseph” over and over, working to holding my emotions together. I found a “trick” that I hoped might help me get through it successfully.
When we were standing before the congregation, I prayed again for composure, and I suddenly saw a second “trick” that helped me get through the song successfully. We sang about Mary and Joseph’s experience, proclaiming again the mystery of God’s union with us and Joseph’s union with Mary.
May we all find ways to live in union with God and each other, not just at Christmas but all year round.
Merry Christmas!
P.S. If you are interested in knowing the two “tricks” I discovered, ask me in the comment section below.
Thank you to all who posted comments and encouragement. I especially appreciate those who shared how you found insights in your own life from my story. That brings joy to my heart!
Some readers asked me to share the “tricks” that helped me get through the song. The tricks may sound mundane, but maybe they tell a bigger story. One was a singing technique and the other was an attention technique.
First, when I was practicing, I found that I could keep my composure better if I sang softly rather than using my full voice (it’s harder for a soft voice to “crack”). So I sang more quietly than usual, with my mouth very close to the microphone…
Tom,
Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. Your marriage continues to be an inspiration for our own, during all these decades. Over the last ten-plus years, I've struggled often to speak or sing publicly and even privately about emotionally powerful things without losing my composure. I would appreciate learning your techniques and thank you in advance for sharing them.
Michael
Tom you nailed it well dune in Christ
Tom- I just absolutely loved the song at church and was so moved when hearing you both sing! I was tearing up then, as I am reading your post. Understanding and working with God on his plan for us is one of my current challenges and thank you for articulating this journey so well. It is one of grace, and I also celebrate the wonder that is the relationship with my husband whom I cherish dearly. You two are such an inspiration to me and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! Lots of love to you all.
Tom, I loved what you expressed in your article. It touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I was blessed to hear you and Sonia sing the duet during Advent and it was beautiful.
Thank you so much for sharing. Oh, and let me not forget, please share your two tricks.